My Monkey Mind on Crutches

Journey: Damma shringa Monastery, Kathmandu Valley - Tiffany's unconscious. Total duration of travel: 20 days...

Having experienced Nepal's many tourist attractions, I was relieved to seek refuge from the chaos in the Dammashringa Vipassana meditation centre. In a sense I left Nepal and entered the depths of my unconscious mind for a ten day commitment, which I was determined to finish properly.

I was kidding myself when I fantasized about being quiet on the day before the retreat as to not create any social temptations. Within an hour, I knew where all the foreigners were from, I was taking orders for momos while we waited for the bus, and I was dishing out meditation advice (from the girl who snuck out of her last meditation retreat.) I had to laugh when I met Kelly, my Australian equivalent, we're both asthmatic fitness instructors, with current travel inflicted digestive upset being treated with Ayurveda herbs, and we'd both taken meditation courses before, which we'd both snuck out of. And as if the universe was testing our strength, we were placed side by side in the Dhamma hall and designated beds three feet apart. It took a tremendous amount of will power not to look at her and chat at any opportunity, otherwise we likely would've lost it, snuck over the fence, found some toblerones and facebooked everyone we know...

Vipassana meditation, as taught by Goenkaji, is a technique used to examine the reality of our body and mind as it is, not as we would like it to be. If any sensations arise in the body, we are trained to observe it and not react to it, understanding its nature of impermanence. Students commit to ten days of silence and refrain from any contact with other students and the outside world. IPODs, books, lap tops and every form of entertainment are handed over on the day before the retreat so we have nothing left but our minds to keep us busy. And busy we certainly were, meditating for 12+ hours a day, an hour for each meal, 1.5 hours for discourse each night, barely enough time it seemed to fit in a shower.

Having attended two other meditation courses, I had an idea of what to expect, both from the course and my monkey mind. This type of meditation however, was completely new to me and presented many new challenges to overcome. The first came in the form of a gift bestowed upon the entire centre, from their neighbour. He must have realized how bored we were so he decided to blare the latest Nepali top ten, followed by the news each day for hours. He was perfectly in tune with the meditation schedule as well. I'd sit down and settle into a nice, peaceful, meditative groove and then suddenly the music would come. In my rage all would be lost and I'd stew in my madness for the rest of that hour. I soon realized that this was simply another lesson in not reacting and expecting circumstances to be exactly as I needed them to be in order to meditate, so I let go of the need to try and control the world around me and paid less attention to the news and more to my knees.

By day three or four I began to feel excruciating pain in my knees whenever I would sit for more than 15 minutes. Goenkaji calls this pain a releasing of "sankaras" which are mental impurities lying in the unconscious, which through meditation rise to the surface level of the mind and manifest as physical sensations in the body. We are taught to just observe the pain, and by not reacting, we eradicate the old sankaras and seize to create new ones. I was convinced however, that my pain had to be worse than everyone else's. Every moment I sat through the pain I would say to myself it's impermanent, anica anica anica, and my ego, frightened at the prospect of losing control, would assert its authority and complain, "there's no pain worse than this!" "You're going to cause permanent damage to your knees!" "This is ridiculous, you could be eating chocolate and climbing mount Everest right now and you're wasting your time with THIS!" I was fiercely determined to win this mighty battle with my ego, and eventually I did... It was the words of my dear friend Rae that carried me through, "Just surrender and trust in the process" she recommended after coming out of her meditation course. I thought, I've got 12 hours of meditating a day and seven more days to go, perhaps it's about time to give this surrender thing a try. On day four, all students move into the true technique of Vipassana through mind, body awareness and are asked to sit for at least one hour a day without moving even a tiny muscle. Despite the pain, discomfort, fatigue and a very slow moving bug of some sort moving across my face, I fought with all my might to sit for that one hour. On day six I was ready to let go of my knee pain, which I was sure I had some control over. I woke up at the usually scheduled ungodly hour of 4:30 am and wandered into the meditation hall saying to myself "the pain is done today." I scanned my body when I sat down and it was still present but I didn't attach any labels to it nor did I react to it in any way. By 6:00 am it was completely gone, and it never returned.

I've heard the many stories of miraculous experiences that people have while meditating and I've always harboured a secret desire that something exciting would happen to me as well, which, according to Goenkaji, is the strongest way of ensuring that it doesn't happen. I imagined writing my blog to tell you all that I had levitated off my cushion or had a vivid glimpse into my past or future, but unfortunately none of that happened. Instead, I was simply amusing myself with my new found ability to change my body temperature from freezing cold to intense heat in a matter of minutes, and once I'd eradicated my knee pain, I began to feel an even mass of sensation covering my body, followed by subtle vibrations in my hands and feet. The problem with the realization of these sensations is that once I labeled it as a pleasant sensation and started getting excited that something is finally happening to bring me out of the curse of boredom, like a hand tries to grasp a small hair in the bathtub, the more I tried to grasp a hold of it, the faster it would float away.

I completed the first of my two ten day courses and left the centre for a break in the middle feeling peaceful and lacking the impulse to freak out when returning to society. On the night we returned to Kathmandu, 15 or so of us got together for dinner. As we were walking to the restaurant, a rickshaw came really close to me and suddenly ran directly over my foot. Everyone else seemed to notice but me and asked "Oh my God are you ok?" Surprisingly I was. Goenkaji says that the first yard stick of progress after the course is observing how it has impacted you, then sharing it with others. I have to disagree. I think the first indication of progress should be, having a vehicle roll over your foot and observing how well YOU do at not reacting!

Following my first course, it was my sincerest intention to return and serve as a Dhamma worker for the following course. I was so adamant about serving, convinced that this would be a great opportunity to GIVE and for ten days, be completely selfless, putting the needs of the meditators before my own. So I returned to the centre after two crammed days in Kathmandu and moved through my training in usual Tiffany style, not allowing a single breath before, between or after. When I finished, the students started arriving and I was busy showing them to their rooms. At dusk I was basking in the glory of being in a position of importance, and my head was held too high to see the stairs below my feet, which I gracefully tumbled down. As I fell, dropping the box of supplies I was carrying, I heard a "snap" and the swelling of my left ankle began immediately. Turns out there is worse pain than my knee pain!

So for the first four days of the course, everyone was helping me and my torn ligaments, seeing to it that MY needs were met. It's funny how things can go so opposite from what we plan. I'm grateful that it happened though, as it truly humbled me, made me slow down and look upon each small task that I was still able to perform, with gratitude and care. Due to my slow pace, which caused me to open my eyes and take in the amazing surroundings, I ended up bumping into one of the wild monkeys who frequently visits the monastery. I was outside doing yoga one day when I was approached by the monkey who was wandering about 4 feet from my yoga mat. He exuberated peace and self assurance, surely he was a meditating monkey, practicing his own form of vipassana.

I had to laugh when I realized the irony of my injury, seeing as I had just spent a month trekking and came out without any bruises or scars. Perhaps it was meant to happen in the midst of my meditation, in a place where I was truly blessed with people to help me. When I came back from the hospital, hobbling on my crutches, Beem, the office manager looked at me and laughed saying "Oh, you're lucky Teefany, you have big sankara come out!" So now when travellers see me with my crutches and aircast and ask, "did you fall down a mountain while trekking?" I can reply "No, I did it while meditating!"


I'm sorry that don't have any exciting pictures to post, as the shot of the monkey is my one of my few pics in the past 20 days. Hope you enjoyed the blog and I shall write again soon. My apologies to those who are awaiting a reply, Internet has been in short supply in my world these days, but I promise to make an effort to get back to you soon!

Zen and the art of eating a Nepali Dal Bhat

Journey: Pokhara - Phedi by bus (1 hr.), Phedi - Landruk hiking (5 hrs.), Landruk - Jimudanda - Chomrong hiking (7 hrs.), Chomrong - Deurali hiking (6 hrs.), Deurali - MBC - ABC (Anapurna Base Camp) hiking (5 hrs.), ABC - Bamboo hiking (8hrs.), Bamboo - Jimudanda hiking (6 hrs.), Jimudanda - New bridge - Nayapool hiking - Pokhara by bus (9 hrs.) Total duration of travel: 47 hrs. From October 24th - 30th. Distance trekked: Approx. 151 kms.

"The only zen you find on the tops of mountains, is the zen you bring up there." Robert M. Pirsig

It's tough to summarize the entirety of an experience, but if i were to do it in one word, this experience could be encompassed in the word "challenging." Perhaps this was exactly what I needed to realize that life doesnt always go the way we expect but that every experience is intended to help one grow, learn and force one to achieve his/her full potential. I'll do my best to explain my journey of a thousand lessons over the course of a single week.

I had reservations about embarking on the journey of the Anapurna mountains from the time I said GO. The universe certainly had a way of asking me to question just how much I really wanted this experience. Many obstacles were placed in my way, such as losing a notebook with all my trekking and guide information, hiring a guide that didn't show up and getting the run around with the Nepali's unofficial system of providing "porters" off the street with no training etc. Regardless of all of this, I was determined to go, so I finally found a porter through a reputable company and together we set off on the Anapurna Sanctuary trek.

Unfortunately arriving in the mountains wasn't an immediate breath of fresh air as I was facing a power struggle between stubborn, infamous, singing guide and strong, determined, female traveller. My decision to choose my own guesthouse against his suggestion on the first evening, was enough to send him into a rage with threats to leave if he didn't get his own way... Needless to say, the following days to come were difficult. The struggle between self respect and keeping the peace became a challenging one, but I didn't want to allow our conflict to ruin my experience.

The journey to ABC began to feel like a meditation, a cleanse, release of toxins. Every step requiring my undivided attention and awareness. Despite the physical challenge and the difficulty with my guide, I felt that I was being tested and challenged to see the beauty in my surroundings and be thankful for every step along this path. Perhaps I was attached to the idea that maybe I'd find the peace and serenity I was looking for at the top of the mountain, but with each breath of resistance, I would only become closer and closer to finding the same misery that I'd carried with me along with my hiking boots and body wash.

On my third night, I met a group of travellers from all over the world and things began to look up. The following day we all arrived one by one at our destination and gathered at the same guesthouse in the ABC at 4100 metres 13,450 feet. I wanted to go higher as I'd heard that you can prevent altitude sickness if you hike 200 metres higher than you sleep, so I was determined to make it to the snow line of the mountain. I pointed to the desired destination and Alex, our English group member, said it would take me two hours to reach that point. I insisted it would only take a half hour and he said that if I could do it in 30 minutes, he'd buy me a Dal Bhat for dinner. "Deal" I replied as I ran towards the snow line.

Perhaps it was slightly irresponsible of me to take this bet, due to my asthma and aching limbs. The severity of the altitude hit be about half way up and caught a glimpse of the deep canyon that lay directly below the narrow ridge I was climbing. I stopped to breathe at ten minutes, fiften, twenty, then I made a run for it and i arrived in exactly 23 minutes. Once I caught my breath I stood on the ledge and screamed a sound of success. Down below, my friends sighed with relief that I was alive as they had lost sight of me ten minutes previous. After my scream, a stream of emotions filled my body and for a million reasons... I cried. It was a much needed release of emotion which signified my pride of being able to do what I've often been told that I was limited in my ability to accomplish, due to my asthma. I also realised that I had accomplished my primary goal, which I had set before coming to Nepal. It has become quite clear to me however, that coming to Nepal to trek, has very little to do with trekking itself. The Dal Bhat, by the way, tasted great, even though I haven't mastered the art of eating it with my hands yet.

The following morning, basking in the glory of reaching my destination, I felt elated. That feeling was soon replaced with shock as I realised that my porter had decided to leave the highest point of the mountain, the most desolate and rural place I'd ever been on earth... without me. I searched high and low but I knew in my gut that he'd left. Someone said it was beceause he'd been drinking, another claimed he was crazy, either way I was without one drunken or dilusional porter to carry my 12 kilo bag for the remaining three days of my trek. I thought to myself, following the wise words of my former YWCA supervisor, Kim, "If this is the worst thing that happens to you today, you're doing pretty good." After all, I was feeling incredibly healthy, happy and I had many people around to help, it definitely could have been much worse.

Fortunately I was offered a hand by a kind Polish guy named Piotr, who noticed me in tears of frustration as I mournfully tried to carry my combersome burden. He took part of my load and we set off to reach our destination, which was 7 hours away. The first day of carrying my stuff wasn't so bad, although it made me seriously contemplate travelling lighter and sending my bag over the cliff a few times. The following day, however, I realized what we would be up against, stairs going straight down, then up 500 metres and a mountain that would show no mercy. I needed help so I prayed for a porter, returning from unloading his burden in the hills. Two men arrived shortly after and said they couldn't help but they quickly exchanged some words with an old man who was carrying an enormous load, surely equalling over 30 kilos. He looked at me and said "put your bag on top." Piotr and I looked at eachother in shock. I replied "No way, you're carrying too much already!" He insisted saying that it would be no problem and added that he would appreciate the extra money to help feed his family. Some people say that Nepali porters are super-human. These men are the skinniest but strongest men I've ever met, carrying up to 100 kilos in one go, hopping over rivers, trodding up stairs, running over rocks and all in their flip flops. Needless to say, we made it to our destination, and we were huffing and puffing more than our porter.

It was tough to find a porter the following day as it was depawali festival where brothers rush home to receive their "tikkas", a blessing from their sisters. I'm pretty sure the dogs and cows didnt sign up for participation in this festival though but they too receive tikkas on their heads, displaying their colourful brands with lack of amusement. We finally managed to find a porter at a guest house in New Bridge, the teenage son of the owner. So 13 year old Deepak and 15 year old Subash became our young porter/guides, quickly and carefully guiding us to the end of the trail. Deepak's English was pretty good. He talked about the sports he liked to play and I taught him how to sing "I like to eat, eat, eat apples and bananas!" He explained that they went to school in Gandruk, 2 hours away from New Bridge, and they walk for two hours, rain, snow, sickness etc. up hill... both ways. I enjoyed their company immensely and was sad to say goodbye at the end of the day, but happy to make it back to Pokhara safely, with only a few bruises and aching limbs as souvenirs of my experience.

I had to deal with the trekking company the following day and it was difficult. Eventually I had to go above them to the Trekking Agency Association of Nepal to get most of my money back. I agreed to leave half of it anyway for Subash to pay for his food etc. Besides, the president of the company said that he would have to accept responsibility for what he'd done and apologize in order to receive his pay. I felt that this was very reasonable and I was happy to put all of this behind me.

And so the chapter of submersing myself in the busy tourist circuit of Nepal, despite my reservations, came to a close. It was surely a test which has strengthened both the trust in my intuition and the muscles in my legs. The next chapter involves a journey into the great depths of my being in meditation for the next month. Perhaps it will prove to be an even crazier journey than the one I just completed.

To see photos click on: http://picasaweb.google.com/KusumaTiffany/ZenAndTheArtOfEatingANepaliDalBhat#

Come as a Tourist, leave as a friend...

Journey: Vang Vieng Laos - Vientiane by bus (4 hrs), Vientiane - Nong Kai Thailand by bus, tuk tuk and taxi (3 hrs), Nong Kai - Bangkok by train (12 hrs), Bangkok - Kathmandu Nepal by slow taxi and flight (5 hrs), Kathmandu - Chitwan by suicidal busride (8hrs), Chitwan - Kathmandu - Nagarcott by bus, motorbike (12 hrs), Nagarcott - Kathmandu - Dunche by motorbike, bus, on foot (14 hrs), Dunche - Syabrubesi on foot trekking (7 days), Syabrubesi - Kathmandu - Pokhara by bus (20 hrs) Total Travel Duration: (I need a calculator) 246 hrs. From October 1st - October 23rd.

Other than my 6 countries in 24 days stint around Europe in 2002, this one takes the cake for amount of land covered in 3 weeks. No wonder I'm exhausted! I've decided to take it easy in Pokhara, well at least for today, as tomorrow I leave for another trek for 7-10 days around the Anapurna Sanctuary. But first, lets go back a few weeks to catch you up.

Cam, my Aussie travel partner, flew out to see me in Laos, about half way through my stay. We spent about a week together in Vang Vieng before flying out to Kathmandu Nepal. We had an interesting ride to Bangkok airport however, before our departure. For whatever reason, we were never informed, the traffic in Bangkok was bumper to bumper and we could have walked faster to the airport. It turned out there were 5 people in our minivan on the same flight to Kathmandu, so we were all pushing to arrive in time for our fight. In the midst of the traffic, I had to pee more intensely than I could ever recall. The driver was not waiting for me, even if I decided to try peeing on the side of the road in the middle of Bangkok. So Cam cut the top off of a 1.5 L bottle and handed it to me. Luckily we were in the back of the mini bus but everyone knew what was happening. Cam and I killed ourselves laughing, while everyone else seemed mortified. I peed about a litre of liquid, and when we finally arrived at the airport, I said to one of the other passengers, "I can't believe I peed that much!" She replied, unimpressed, and without a smile, "I can't believe you peed." Leaving the serenity and simplicity of Laos and arriving in large and stinky Kathmandu was crazier than the reverse culture shock I experienced when coming back to Canada, well not really...

We did our best to get out of there asap and took a bus shortly after arriving to Chitwan National Park in search of Rhinos and Elephants. For a city which seems to have been taken over by the tourist industry, it was incredibly hard to get to. I supposed it was because we weren't part of the packaged tours. After an eight hour bus ride, we took another bus, then a mini bus, which over-heated and started smoking on the way. Cam dove out of the window, and the locals fell to the ground laughing at him and taking turns making jokes in his favour.

We went on a one-day safari in search of wildlife, which we found a lot of. Down the river on the canoe, we came dangerously close to two masmongruel Crocodiles, which are aparently the most dangerous in the world. They didn't seem to be phased by our passing. Sandpipers and Stocks flew over our heads as we made our way to the trail. The mission was of course to find Rhinos. I was more concerned with how to escape if a Rhino charges us than seeing them at all. We came across many termite hills, families of Monkeys, tons of leeches, wild boars and elephants (used heavily in the tourist circuit), but unfortunately, no Rhinos. We stayed that night in the Wildlife tower and two Rhinos came really close to the tower. Although we didn't manage to get any pictures of them, it was amazing to see them quietly drift into the meadow, two ghost-like figures, being gawked at by a group of tourists.

We came back from Kathmandu and the next day rode a motorbike to Nagarcott, a two-hour ride up the kathmandu valley, which was supposed to have amazing views of the himalaya mountain range at sunrise. We stayed at Eco-Home, a guest house run by a joyful man named Semanta. Everything he did in his life seemed to have meaning. The guesthouse was designed completely eco-friendly, everything down to the menus was recycled. He also ran a volunteer program for the people in the local community, helping with different projects to assist them with becomming healthier and happier. There was a lot to be learned from this man, and his giving nature made us feel like family, staying with him. I think his guesthouse was the first of which we saw the slogan "Come as a tourist, leave as a friend." Although the motto he expressed regulariy was something along the lines of "Smile, your life depends on it."

Touched by our experience with this man, we decided to visit a friend of his on the way back to Kathmandu. He owned a Fair Trade work shop where we received a tour of the ladies working and bought some of their crafts. Our time was limited though so we went back to Kathmandu quickly. The following day we hopped on a bus to Dunche to do the Lang Tang trek.

We didnt have a bus ticket so we had to pay a bit more to ride in a mini bus to the half way point of Tusuli. In this town we were offered a ride on the tourist bus which was packed on the inside and had exploded upwards with bodies hanging off the roof, no doubt clinging to the rail for dear life. He said 100 Rupees (about $1.25) and pointed at the roof. We declined. Finally we found a chartered bus and paid a lot more than we should have for a suicidal bus ride that got us 3/4 of the way to Dunche where there was a landslide blocking the road. We walked over it and found our way on another bus and an hour later, arrived in Dunche, lucky to be alive. On the way back we drove over the landslide in the local bus, being the guinea pigs for other busses to come... I closed my eyes and prayed.

The trek is hard to write about. It's difficult to put natural beauty into words. It was difficult to walk up hill for 6 hours a day but I was lucky to have Cam as he carried the heavy bag and listened patiently as I moaned and groaned the whole way... But it was a fantastic challenge, one I was greatful to experience. Best to look at the pictures as they will tell the story of our trek.

After the trek, Cam had to leave and move on to his main purpose for returning to South East Asia, a 4 month apprenticeship in the Phillippines. One can't express the bond you create with another that you travel with for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, through challenges and joy, and a variety of cultures. You would only know it if you've experienced it, but it's wonderful. I was so blessed to have him with me on this part of my journey and his departure in pursuit of his own dream, helped me to be pushed back on track to what I came here to do.

So here I am in Pokhara, leaving on yet another up hill journey through the mountains. It was challenging getting to this point and I am interested to see how the next week presents itself. After this trek I am embarking on an entirely different journey of going inwards to another 10 day vipassana retreat.

Check out my pics and please write back with any comments, questions and updates on your lives.

Namaste and lots of love,

Tiff xo

Check out my pictures at: http://picasaweb.google.com/KusumaTiffany/LaosToNepal#

My return to Asia

Journey: August 24^th – Sept. 11^th Toronto – Vancouver (4 hrs), Vancouver – Taipei Taiwan (13 hrs), Taipei – Chunan (4 hrs), Chunan – Hualien (5 hrs), Hualien – Chunan (5 hrs), Chunan – Taipei (3 hrs), Taipei – Bangkok Thailand (4 hrs), Bangkok – Nong Kai (13 hrs), Nong Kai – Vang Vieng Laos (5 hrs) Total duration of travel 56 hrs (over the course of 18 days.)

I’m back at the organic farm in Laos. It’s been an unbelievable year and a half since I was last here and it seems as though so much has happened since then. Guess life’s like that, close your eyes, suddenly you wake up and you’re so much older than the last time you looked in the mirror. The farm has changed quite a bit since my last visit but I also feel different. Ah the realities of life and change, as the Thai’s would say, “same, same but different.”

I left Canada on August 24^th. It was difficult to leave, but I felt that it was time. Rae and dad came to the airport with me to see me off and thus I began my journey.

I arrived in Taiwan, this time without a new school to pick me up from the airport, no scooter for transportation and no home base, but I still felt like I was coming home in a way. Being back, I knew that Taiwan and I had learned all that we could from one another. Taiwan being an old friend that I know I can call upon anytime I need her and I shall always be loyal to my friend in a time of need. I stayed with my chinese family for a week and went to visit my friends in Hualien for the following week. I spent most of my time packing up boxes upon boxes of things that I couldn’t somehow manage to get rid of. Look out Canada, here comes my stuff!

I said another tearful goodbye to Taiwan and flew back to noisy, stinky but dependable Bangkok. A productive day was had, searching for a flight to Nepal and a train out of Bangkok the next night. I took the overnight train where I met Sanda, a Buddhist nun, about my age from England. We had a great conversation that night and I felt we gave each other so much just in those few hours. Upon arrival to Nong kai, I met two English guys who hadn’t learned the tricks of the trade and were severely ripped off at the border. I discovered later though that I have become incredibly stubborn my bargaining skills, while the English guys were riding in a nice air conditioned mini van, I saved $1.50 US to ride with the locals for double the amount of time, on a hot local bus with a chicken as my only companion. I did however get to witness a rather strange local treat of cockroach/beetle like creatures. I questioned the woman beside me with communication in the style of charades, she made a gesture of breaking the bug apart, then raised her hand to her mouth and made a slurping noise, finishing with a smile and a thumbs-up. She pointed at me then the bowl of treats as if to inquire would you like to try some? I said, “No sorry, I’m a vegetarian.”

After the shoulder injuries I sustained from my last trip, I had wildly imaginative day dreams of carrying a bag as light as a feather. People would say to me, “you’re travelling for a year and that’s all you brought?” My fantasies were shattered with the reality of being Tiffany, as in actuality, I’m lugging around two huge backpacks and a box on a small trolley. People now look at me and say “how long you travelling for, a year!!! And what on earth is that helmet strapped on the outside of your bag for…?” Don’t ask… I told the English guys “It’s for the tubing you came here to do, you mean you didn’t bring one? Good luck!”

So here I am, back at the Organic farm for a month to write and live in the mud hut that I have been dreaming about since I left last time. A small, hand built hut made entirely of mud, straw, wood and bamboo. Even the couch is made of mud and it’s surprisingly comfortable! I’ve met most of my roommates, the geckos, ants, two bats and a family of mice. I’ve given a written notice to the landlord that the snakes and scorpions may not return until my departure in one month. The scenery is absolutely breathtaking, as my balcony overlooks the mulberry bushes, river and mountains, no shortage of inspiration here. Now I’ve just got to find myself a Fred Flintstone and my life is complete J

Lessons I’ve learned thus far; One should NEVER under any circumstances thoroughly tape a box before going to the post office, Even half a kilo can ruin your day, Taiwanese rarely share their name with someone else, it is completely unique to them, they can however, change their names if they find out that someone else has the same name, and the most valuable lesson, wheels, no matter how appealing they may seem, are never a good idea when lugging your stuff through third world countries!

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The Butterfly of Freedom

As I prepared for this journey, so many people asked me how I can just pick up and go. How I can leave everything and everyone behind and travel with just a bag on my back.

I had a hard time answering until I received a card from my coworkers at Goodness me. This I feel explains a lot of how I can justify living as I do :)

On the front of the card was a picture of butterflies inside a box. One of the butterflies had flown out of the box. The card read:

The Butterfly of Freedom

"Why do you fly outside the box?"

"I fly outside the box because I can."

"But we KNOW the box. We are SAFE inside the box!"

"That, my friend, is why I leave it.

For you may be SAFE... but I AM FREE!"

Back to my homeland...

Journey: Taiwan - Vancouver (flight 15 hours), Vancouver - Revelsoke (Hitchiked 12 hours), Revelstoke - Victoria (Bus/Ferry 16 hours), Victoria - Hornby Island (Bus and Ferry 4 hours), Hornby Island - Victoria (Ferry and Hitchiked 4 hours), Victoria - Vancouver (Bus and Ferry 2 hours), Vancouver - Toronto (Flight 4 hours), Toronto - Hamilton (Drive 1 hour) Total duration: 58 hours, over the course of one month...

Happy 2008 everyone. Time to say hello to the new and toss the old out like a bag of rotten potatoes, taking the good ones out of the bag first of course... It has been a long time since I wrote and informed all of my wonderful friends around the planet what it is that I am up to these days. It's strange to be writing a blog from home, as I feel that it is a way to tell you about my travels, and I don't think home = travelled territory. Nonetheless, here's the past few months in a nutshell...

When I left Taipei, I felt a little anxious about returning to my homeland as it was never part of my plan. I felt that I needed some time with friends in beautiful BC before going back to Ontario to get adjusted to Western culture again. I met up with a couchsurfer Darren in Vancouver and he let me stay in his wonderful home right in down town Van, near the beach. My friend Dustin came the second day and met up with us, and we continued on to Revelstoke (where he lives) together in a travelling art form commonly known as (dad don't read this part) hitchiking! It took us about 12 hours and we travelled in about 5 different vehicles and met some really great people including an interesting woman with all of her material posessions in the backseat, and the father of two guys Dustin knew from Revi.

When we finally got to Revi I decided to stay for about a week to spend some time with my ol friend from Taiwan and get aquainted with his wonderful girlfriend Shannon. Not to mention the amazing scenery of Revelstoke being a magnet keeping me there. All those pictures of beautiful landscapes with snow capped mountains in the backdrop, picture that and more. During the week we hiked a lot, saw lots of bears, went swimming in the nearby lake and visited Dustin's newly purchased land, which is in the middle of nowhere, well it's close to Neeeewwww Denver! That one was for you Dusty ;) I made some new friends as well and as it turned out, through a very strange coincidence, Ryan knew a guy that I'd met in Thailand three years ago, Randy. Such a small world. So I contacted Randy and told him that I'd met Ryan and he said, "well why don't the three of us meet up and hike a glacier?" Well it wasn't coffee but hiking a glacier sounded like a good idea to me, so off we went.

We left Revelstoke with Ryan's friend Tom who was passing through on his way to Calgary. The three of us hiked up Roger's Pass, which is beside the highest point on the cross Canada hiway. When we reached the top, the weather changed incredibly fast, and as we were walking down, we got hit by hail the size of peanut m&ms. Afterwards, Ryan and I drove for two hours to a wee little "town" called Spillimachine, although I don't know if it can even qualify as a town... We set up camp and went to Radium hotsprings, which is actually a very large outdoor swimming pool equipped with hot water and chlorine... We made a feast back on our campfire and then turned out the flashlights. The next morning Randy magically appeared! The three of us set off on our big adventure. He brought us to the old little cabin that he used to live in as a child, and a waterfall close to the glacier. At the base of the Bugaboos (name of glacier) we had to porcupine proof our car but putting a fence around it and wooden pillars. There were also signs around saying, "Do not pee on or near the deck as porcupines love urine flavoured wood." Welcome to Canada folks :)

It took us about 3 hours to hike the trail up and the view was indescribable, amazing beauty that made me so proud to call this my country. We reached the top, which had a cabin with a full kitchen and HEAT! It was September but even in the summer, there's ice and snow at the top, being a glacier and all. We couldn't stay long cause sun down was coming fast so we made our way down, eating fresh raspberries along the way. It was an incredible experience and I felt blessed to meet and be reunited with two wonderful people.

I took the overnight bus back to Vancouver and then a ferry over to Vancouver Island the next day. I met up with two of my best friends Hayley and Troy and we went straight to the ocean. I stayed at Hayley's house with she and her roommate Dan, who was a very friendly and environmentally aware kinda guy. The three of us and Troy went dumpster diving at the local health food store one night, justifying along the way how doing this was saving the world by saving perfectly good food that used up fuel to transport it there and energy to break it down afterwards. That's just us, saving the planet one bunch of kelp at a time...

Hayley and I took the bus to Hornby island the following weekend. It's about a 3 hour bus ride from Victoria and then a 40 minute ferry to Denman then Hornby. The only mode of transportation once on the island is hitchiking unless you choose to use your feet. Everyone is used to this though and helps everyone else. We stayed at a wonderful place called Deerheart Sanctuary which was in a beautiful forest setting with deer running around day and night. We camped and used their outdoor facilities, washroom and kitchen. They also had a Yurt which is a mongolian hut, in which we did yoga and meditated. The island has a very special feel to it, people feel drawn there for very profound reasons and some never leave. Hayley and I both felt the beauty of the island and enjoyed exploring it. The fall festival happened to be on this weekend so we went and met up with many of the locals, which was a fortunate opportunity as Hornby at other times of the year is overrun by tourists. We both felt sad to say goodbye and knew that we'd be back.

I spent another week in Victoria and celebrated Hayley's birthday with her. She came back to Vancouver with me and I got to spend some time with my cousins, whom I hadnt seen in years! We also hiked the grouse grind, which I was very proud of as last time I forgot my inhaler and didnt make it... I again felt so blessed to be surrounded by such amazing people in such a beautiful place. It was time to leave BC and continue on to Hamilton Ontario, which was my purpose for being in Canada.

As most of you already know, I came back to Canada to help a family member. My mom found out in the summer that she had breast cancer. My initial reaction was of course shock and fear but I soon replaced that with strength and certainty that she will get through this. I began to look at the word Cancer and realized that you can approach it in two different ways. You can see it as a disease, as something responsible for taking lives. Or you can see it as an opportunity, if caught in time, to fight it and look for reasons to survive. To not say "I may die of cancer" but rather "I can-cer-vive!" So that was my attitude and I came home to see to it that this is exactly the way it would go.

Surprisingly, despite my plans to travel, my return for this reason was not a difficult decision, although I was really afraid of coming back to live in Hamilton after 9 years! My mom didn't know that I was coming back when I did so my dad picked me up at the airport and I surprised her. It was a very emotional reunion and I knew that this is exactly where I am meant to be at this time.

Life is tricky and the universe has a way of placing you exactly where you need to be at certain times. Sometimes things don't always go as we plan, but that's why a plan is just a plan and not a certainty. We never know until we're actually there doing it. Therefore the only time and place that we can truly depend on, is here and now. I've tried not to resist being here, although at times challenging, it has been surprisingly comforting and positive. I've been given fantastic employment opportunities which have put me in two wonderful organizations, working with very positive people. I have a new niece whom I love spending time with. I've met some really great new people and had a great time catching up with old friends. And I felt so excited to be able to spend Christmas with my friends and family. I again feel very greatful to be provided for and I'm certain that when the time is right, I will continue my worldly journey.

I wish everyone reading this a magnificent 2008. It is going to be a great year, filled with positive change, growth and happiness beyond our imagination. I feel that 2007 was a challenging year for many and I feel confident that after every period of suffering, an even greater period of joy will follow.

I look forward to hearing from you and your feedback is always welcome.

Love and peace

Tiffany

Check out my photos from BC and Ontario at: http://www.kodakgallery.com/ShareLandingSignin.jsp?Uc=a415xus7.7brszinj&Uy=-tvrhju&Upost_signin=Slideshow.jsp%3Fmode%3Dfromshare&Ux=0

Click on the above link or cut and paste it into your internet address line. Enjoy :)